An adult ADHD diagnosis might feel like receiving unexpected news or maybe you were expecting it and testing confirmed it. So what do you do now? First of all You’re not alone—there’s a growing number of adults facing the same situation. Living with ADHD is a unique and often challenging experience. As someone with ADHD, I navigate the world differently than many of those around me. And that is 100% ok! ADHD affects my ability to focus, control impulses, and manage time, but it also shapes who I am and how I see the world. With understanding and awareness increasing, more individuals are identifying with ADHD beyond childhood. And good news! There are resources available to assist. I was recently diagnosed myself after a couple of years of suspecting it after following some social media influencers and noticed I had a lot in common with them and they all had ADHD. It was a lot of hey I do that too…….oh

ADHD Super Powers Written on Chalkboard

It’s been a realization that brings both clarity and a bunch of questions. I am also on the journey of what now and will keep you updated on what happens. I see a psychiatrist soon and hoping for answers but I was also diagnosed with other things too so I know the answers are unfortunately not going to be simple in my case anyway.

I’ve done a little research about resources available, and how to navigate your new path with confidence and support. When I have a problem in life I go to social media and join all the things to do more. So Facebook groups, subreddits, tik tok and Instagram pages and subscribing to newsletters. Figuring out what comes next is important not just for managing symptoms but for positive change in everyday life.

What is ADHD

Well in case you didn’t know ADHD or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. These symptoms can significantly impact daily functioning and quality of life (uh yeah), affecting academic, occupational, and social settings. We have kind of moved past the stereotypical little hyper boy image when thinking of ADHD. Unfortunately many girls are overlooked and undiagnosed.

Only 6% of young girls are recognized as having ADHD compared to 13% of boys. While it is a common issue in childhood studies show less than 20% of adults are aware they have it. I was one of them until I was 42. You may be thinking well what is the point in finding out in middle age but it does help you make sense of you life and evaluate past issues with more clarity.

Plus now you can just magically cope with all the things that you couldn’t before. Kidding that kind of magic doesn’t exist but knowing what’s up can help you get ahead of some of the things. Like I am able to feel myself drifting when reading or watching a movie. Then its hey ADHD nope not right now. Whereas before I would get frustrated with myself because I didn’t know why. Now I can redirect a bit. I am newly diagnosed and still learning all the things.

Symptoms

ADHD symptoms are categorized into two main groups: inattention and hyperactivity-impulsivity.

Inattention

Hyperactivity and Impulsivity

  • Difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities.
  • Frequent careless mistakes in schoolwork or other activities.
  • Difficulty listening when spoken to directly.
  • Failing to follow through on instructions and complete tasks.
  • Difficulty organizing tasks and activities.
  • Avoidance or dislike of tasks that require sustained mental effort.
  • Frequently losing items necessary for tasks or activities.
  • Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli.
  • Forgetfulness in daily activities.
  • Fidgeting with or tapping hands or feet, or squirming in seat.
  • Inability to stay seated in situations where it is expected.
  • Running or climbing in inappropriate situations.
  • Inability to play or engage in activities quietly.
  • Often “on the go” or acting as if “driven by a motor.”
  • Excessive talking.
  • Blurting out answers before questions have been completed.
  • Difficulty waiting for their turn.
  • Interrupting or intruding on others’ conversations or games.

I relate to several signs of both types.

Man in Hoodie Sweater Using a Laptop

Causes and Risk Factors

The exact cause of ADHD is not known, but several factors may contribute to its development:

  1. Genetic Factors:
    • ADHD tends to run in families, suggesting a hereditary component. Specific genes related to the regulation of neurotransmitters such as dopamine may be involved.
  2. Neurobiological Factors:
    • Differences in brain structure and function, particularly in areas related to attention and impulse control, have been observed in individuals with ADHD.
  3. Environmental Factors:
    • Prenatal exposure to alcohol, tobacco smoke, and certain toxins.
    • Low birth weight and premature birth.
    • Early exposure to lead and other environmental toxins.
  4. Social and Psychological Factors:
    • Family stress, lack of structure at home, and exposure to trauma or adversity may exacerbate symptoms. I was recently told this by my therapist.

Diagnosis

Interested in ADHD diagnosis? Testing typically involves a comprehensive evaluation with a neuropsychologist that includes:

  1. Clinical Interviews:
    • Interviews with the child or adult, parents, teachers, and other caregivers to gather detailed information about behavior and symptoms across different settings. My boyfriend was the only one that was interviewed as I have mostly kept quiet about my struggles in life.
  2. Behavioral Assessments:
    • Standardized rating scales and questionnaires to assess the frequency and severity of symptoms.
  3. Medical Examination:
    • A thorough medical and developmental history to rule out other potential causes of symptoms.
  4. Observation:
    • Direct observation of behavior in different settings, such as home and school, to gather additional information. I did not have this part.

Your neuropsychologist or PCP will be able to guide you to who is best in your area to work with once a diagnosis is obtained. The assessment process is about 3 hours but in my experience it was just over 2 hours as it was undeniably ADHD and the other sections of the test gave me other diagnoses. It is also expensive out of pocket. I had to pay a $30 copay for each visit which was 3 visits total with the neuropsychologist and more for my primary PCP.

Then I had another $250 and the test overall was $2500 but luckily with insurance I did not have to pay that as I did not know how I was going to do so. I was off work on leave at the time after a severe mental breakdown.

Women Having Conversation while Looking at Each Other

Treatment and Management

So how can this be managed or even treated? ADHD is a chronic condition, but various treatment approaches can help manage symptoms and improve functioning. These include:

  1. Medication:
    • Stimulants: Medications such as methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta) and amphetamines (Adderall, Vyvanse) are commonly prescribed. They increase the levels of certain neurotransmitters in the brain, improving attention and reducing hyperactivity and impulsivity.
    • Non-Stimulants: Medications like atomoxetine (Strattera) and guanfacine (Intuniv) can also be effective, particularly for individuals who do not respond well to stimulants. People with IBS need to be careful with stimulants at least in my case. I am currently on amitriptlyine as my primary didn’t know how to help me really as I was struggling and spiraling so bad. It does help and she said it does help with IBS. I haven’t experimented with Coffee or anything crazy so I can’t attest that I will be able to do stimulants at the time of my appointment.
  2. Behavioral Therapy:
    • Behavioral interventions help individuals develop coping strategies and improve organizational and social skills.
  3. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
    • Helps individuals with ADHD develop skills to manage their symptoms, such as time management, organizational skills, and problem-solving strategies.
  4. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) 
    • Helps with emotional regulation and has shown to be a great tool for ADHD. I am going to pursue this and will report back on if it helps any of my conditions. Stay tuned on my social media for that.
  5. Lifestyle Changes:
    • Regular physical activity, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and structured routines can help manage symptoms.
  6. Support Groups:
    • Support groups for individuals with ADHD and their families can provide emotional support, information, and practical advice. I am in many different online groups and find it beneficial to connect with others. I am in the process of finding small support groups to connect with people in person.
Portrait of a Woman Sitting with Her Hand Touching Her Face and Making a Tired Face

Daily Challenges

  1. Focus and Attention:
    • One of the most significant aspects of living with ADHD is the constant struggle to maintain focus. Imagine trying to read a book while someone keeps flipping the pages every few seconds. That’s what it feels like for me when I’m trying to concentrate. My mind is always racing with thoughts, making it hard to stay on one task for an extended period. Reading one word will make me think of that word then what I was just reading is gone and I have to re-read things ALOT.
    • In school or at work, I often find my mind wandering during meetings or lectures. I can hear the speaker, but my brain is jumping from one thought to another. Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort just to stay present.
  2. Hyperactivity:
    • My body is in constant motion. Even when I’m sitting still, I might be tapping my foot, drumming my fingers, or fidgeting with a pen or rocking. It feels like there’s an endless energy inside me that needs to be released.
    • This hyperactivity can be exhausting. People often see it as me being restless or impatient, but it’s something I can’t always control.
  3. Impulsivity:
    • Acting without thinking is another hallmark of my ADHD. I might blurt out an answer before the question is fully asked or make a quick decision without considering the consequences. This impulsivity can lead to misunderstandings and sometimes even trouble. And hurt feelings when I talk over someone and didn’t mean to.
    • It’s frustrating when I realize that my actions or words have hurt someone or caused problems, and it feels like my brain didn’t give me a chance to think things through.
  4. Time Management:
    • Time feels different for me. I often underestimate how long tasks will take, leading to missed deadlines and last-minute scrambles. I have a hard time sticking to schedules and often find myself running late, no matter how hard I try.
    • Procrastination is a constant battle. Tasks that don’t interest me get pushed aside until they become urgent, creating a cycle of stress and panic. Demand avoidance is a beast to deal with.

Coping Strategies for Individuals with ADHD

  1. Create Structure:
    • Use calendars, planners, and to-do lists to organize daily activities and tasks. I got a google smart watch and having google calendar sync to it had been phenomenal
    • Establish routines for daily activities, such as homework, chores, and bedtime.
  2. Break Tasks into Smaller Steps:
    • Divide larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps and tackle them one at a time.
    • Goblin Tools is also a free web application that can help break things down list form that you can check off so its less overwhelming
  3. Set Clear Goals and Priorities:
    • Identify specific, achievable goals and prioritize tasks to focus on what is most important.
  4. Use Visual Aids and Reminders:
    • Use sticky notes, alarms, and visual schedules to remember tasks and deadlines. I have timers going off on my watch all the time. No smartwatch you can have your phone do the same thing. The problem with that for me was I would leave my phone upstairs and not hear it.
  5. Minimize Distractions:
    • Create a quiet, organized workspace to reduce distractions while working or studying. Noise canceling headphones with my favorite playlists are gold for this.
  6. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques:
    • Mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can help improve focus and reduce stress. The tripp app is my go to for meditation. Its even better on my meta quest oculus VR headset.
  7. Seeking Support:
    • Connecting with others who understand ADHD, whether through support groups or online communities, provides a sense of belonging and shared experience.
    • Professional help, such as therapy or coaching, has been invaluable in finding myself.
  8. Physical Activity:
    • Regular exercise helps manage hyperactivity and improves my overall mood. Physical activity provides an outlet for excess energy and helps me feel more grounded. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Taking a walk or bike ride works wonders. Playing on my meta quest also helps a bunch. And you can socialize on there if you choose. I mute everyone haha.
  9. Medication:
    • Working with a healthcare provider to find the right medication and dosage can make a significant difference in the ability to cope with ADHD. I am sure a med change is in my future.

Strengths and Abilities

While ADHD presents many challenges, it also comes with unique strengths that I embrace:

  1. Creativity:
    • My racing thoughts and vivid imagination allow me to think outside the box. I can come up with a 1000 creative solutions and ideas (not kidding) that others might not consider. I consider creativity my super power.
    • When I’m passionate about something, I can dive deep into it, bringing a fresh perspective and enthusiasm.
  2. Hyperfocus:
    • Despite the struggle with attention, there are times when I can become intensely focused on a task that interests me. During these periods of hyperfocus, I can be incredibly productive and detail-oriented.
    • This ability to immerse myself fully in something can lead to high-quality work and deep learning.
    • This can also lead to hyperfocus rage or ADHD rage. This happens when a hyperfocus is abruptly disrupted.
  3. Adaptability:
    • Living with ADHD has taught me to be adaptable and resilient. I constantly find new ways to manage my symptoms and adapt to different situations. You have to ask yourself how will you accommodate yourself to succeed. I recently came up with the idea to flash the lights in my office to get my attention so I can break my hyperfocus slowly and not snap and say what when someone needs my attention. Those few seconds are vital for everyone’s peace and well being. And I don’t say snappy mean things.
    • My brain’s flexibility allows me to switch gears quickly and handle unexpected changes with ease. It just depends on the day. If I am in an irritable phase nope not happening. Other days I am like a rock skipping on a lake, hopping from one idea to the next. It can be a challenge to figure out what to tackle first so I am working on ways for that now and will report back with what works or post in my facebook group.

Social and Emotional Impact

Living with ADHD affects my relationships and emotions in various ways:

  1. Interpersonal Relationships:
    • Communication can be challenging. I sometimes interrupt others or struggle to follow conversations, leading to misunderstandings. Or I hurt people’s feelings because they don’t feel heard since I interrupted.
    • My impulsivity can strain relationships, but being open about my ADHD and its effects helps others understand my behavior. At the time of this writing I have only been open to a few people. I have other diagnoses to process too which makes it challenging. I am hoping to be more open very soon to help others like myself. Writing this post was the first step in achieving that goal.
  2. Self-Esteem:
    • The constant struggle to meet expectations and manage symptoms can take a hell of a toll on my self-esteem. I often feel like I’m not living up to my potential. I am also currently on leave from my job for the past 3 months and I am not expected to be able to work until after the first of the year (January 1st)
    • Positive reinforcement and focusing on my strengths help build confidence and resilience. I struggle with feeling down often due to all the struggles that I face that others don’t seem to have issues with.
  3. Emotional Regulation:
    • I experience intense emotions and can be easily overwhelmed by stress or frustration. Learning to manage these emotions is an ongoing process.
    • Therapy and support from loved ones provide essential tools for emotional regulation. Plus making your own toolbox is beneficial too. I need to revisit mine and make some adjustments.

ADHD is a challenge to live with no doubt. I am choosing to try to overcome them as much as possible my using the tools and resources available to me to be the best me I can be.

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