Balancing self-care during perimenopause can be tough, especially for neurodivergent women facing unique struggles. At first for me it truly felt like the absolute worst thing because I didn't understand for a full year what was happening to me. Shifting hormones, sensory sensitivities, and energy fluctuations may feel overwhelming, but these challenges don’t have to control your life. It was because of these challenges I was formally diagnosed with several diagnoses. Prioritizing small, sustainable routines can make a big difference in managing both physical and mental well-being.
The Unique Challenges of Perimenopause for Neurodivergent Women
Perimenopause isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience, and for neurodivergent women, this transition may present added layers of difficulty. Hormonal shifts can heighten things like sensory sensitivities or emotional intensity, while cognitive changes may disrupt routines that once felt manageable. So my undiagnosed ADHD at the time became quite the obstacle and the rage that many women experience was 10x worse for me leading to a diagnoses of cyclothymia…fun times.
But at least I had answers before any more of my life crumbled around me. My routines and life became so unmanageable I had to resign from my job and I am now in the process of finding a new career. Understanding these challenges is the first step toward creating strategies that work for you.
Mood Changes and Emotional Regulation
Perimenopause is often accompanied by mood swings, irritability, and moments of intense sadness. For neurodivergent women, these emotional shifts can feel unpredictable and overwhelming. Hormonal fluctuations impact brain chemistry, which already operates differently for many neurodivergent individuals. This is how I was diagnosed with ADHD, GAD, PTSD, cyclothymia, and avoidant and dependent personality. Fun right? UGH. I did not expect to hit perimenopause so soon and definitely didn't expect being diagnosed with things. If you’ve relied on specific emotional coping tools in the past, they might feel less effective now.
For some, small frustrations may snowball into larger emotional breakdowns and severe emotional dysregulation. A casual comment from someone could trigger a disproportionate reaction, leaving you exhausted and confused. Does this sound familiar? Rapid mood swings can also conflict with the logic or structure you lean on to make sense of feelings. For us neurodivergent people that already struggle with rapid mood swings this added effect by perimenopause can be crippling.
To help manage this, focus on quick emotional resets:
- Step outside for fresh air. I know, I know so basic and something everyone says right? But it really does help, sometimes you don't even realize it.
- Use grounding techniques, like deep breathing or holding a comforting object. I use a weighted hoodie, blanket or stuffed animal.
- Keep a “safe space” in your home where you can retreat if needed. This has been critical to my survival of the past year. Give me a lazy boy rocking chair and a good playlist or movie and I have a good chance of being ok. Adding a cat also helps.
These small actions won’t erase the mood shifts but can help soften their impact.
Sensory Overload and Sensitivity
If you’re neurodivergent, sensory sensitivities are probably already part of your daily life. Perimenopause has a way of dialing these up, making everyday environments feel chaotic. Sounds may seem louder (yep I now have to walk around in my noise canceling headphones I call my blue bullshit blockers). Crowded spaces might feel unbearable. Even textures of clothing or bedding could suddenly irritate your skin more than they used to. Oh my gooodness the clothing thing is REAL. Socks have to be just right and I can't wear the same things I used to. Scratchy anything is a huge no.
Some women describe this phase as living under a magnifying glass, where everything feels heightened. Hormonal changes might disrupt how your brain processes sensory input, creating a sense of constant overstimulation.
Hi I'm Amber I have always been weird, but now it's finally explained
Turns out my brain's been running on alternative software this whole time—explains a lot, honestly.
Now I'm hyperfocused on all things neurodiversity (and other things like crafting and Stranger things and more)
My mission? Building a community where we can collectively figure out how to navigate this chaotic world without completely losing our marvelous, misunderstood minds. Because let's face it—society wasn't exactly designed with our operating systems in mind.
Let's connect, laugh about our shared experiences, only we understand and explore how our unique cognitive styes are remarkable. After all everyone else is just boring.
Adapting to sensory changes doesn’t mean avoiding everything. Instead, create structures to reduce overwhelm:
- Wear noise-canceling headphones if loud sounds become unbearable. Also loop earplugs are an alternative if you are looking for an alternative to earphones.
- Keep a sensory kit with items like sunglasses, fidget tools, or your favorite scents. Essential oil rollers are awesome for this and is something you can easily DIY.
- Limit high-stimulation activities on particularly sensitive days.
Awareness of these triggers helps you regain control, even when the world feels too much.
Cognitive Changes and Executive Functioning
Cognitive shifts, sometimes referred to as “brain fog,” are a well-known aspect of perimenopause. Somedays are so bad with this it calls for a dense fog advisory. Tasks you tackled with ease—planning meals, managing appointments, sticking to a schedule—may suddenly feel monumental and impossible. And some of us were never good at managing these tasks to begin with making the daily struggle even harder. These changes might impact memory, processing speed, or flexible thinking, areas that are already challenging for many neurodivergent individuals.
Have you ever walked into a room and immediately forgotten why you’re there? Or sat with a list of tasks, unable to decide which to start? Um yes to all the above even before perimenopause. These experiences can pile up, leading to frustration, guilt, or a sense of failure. It’s not that you’re lazy or unmotivated—your brain is simply recalibrating.
To support executive functioning during this time:
- Break tasks into smaller steps, and celebrate each step accomplished. The pomodoro method breaks things into smaller time chunks.
- Use visual aids like sticky notes, planners, or phone reminders.
- Lean on routines or checklists to simplify recurring tasks.
By tweaking your systems, you can ease the mental load and make day-to-day life feel less overwhelming.
Self-Care Practices for Managing Symptoms
Navigating perimenopause as a neurodivergent woman brings unique challenges, but self-care can help ease the burden. By focusing on practical, manageable actions, you can create a supportive foundation for both your mind and body.
Creating a Routine That Works
Routines provide structure and predictability, which can feel grounding during times of change. Start with small, consistent habits that fit into your day.
- Identify key tasks that need to happen daily, like meals or hygiene.
- Use planners, timers, or apps to keep track of your schedule.
- Schedule breaks to prevent burnout: think of them as “pause buttons” for your day.
Consistency doesn’t mean rigidity. If life throws a curveball, adjust without guilt. Flexibility within your structure makes your routine sustainable.
Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques
When anxiety or stress creeps in, grounding techniques can help calm your mind and body. They don’t have to be complicated—simple actions often work best.
- Five Senses Check-In: Identify something you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste.
- Practice deep breathing. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4.
- Use repetitive motion, like knitting, creative art, or doodling, to soothe racing thoughts.
Mindfulness isn’t about forcing yourself to “stay positive.” Focus on being present, even in small, manageable moments of your day.
Physical Activity and Movement
Exercise can boost mood, reduce stress, and increase energy. The key is finding something that feels enjoyable. For me that is Zumba or other fitness classes. I also enjoy interactive games on my Oculus that get me up and moving. I am also a pet sitter and do several miles a week walking dogs.
- Go for slow walks in nature to combine movement and sensory calm.
- Try yoga or stretching routines to improve flexibility and reduce tension.
- Explore dance, swimming, or low-impact aerobics for a fun way to stay active.
Movement doesn’t need to be intense to be effective. Pick activities that match your energy level, especially on tougher days.
Sleep Hygiene Tips
Good sleep becomes even more important when dealing with perimenopause symptoms. A few simple adjustments can improve quality and duration.
- Stick to a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends.
- Create a calming wind-down routine, like reading or listening to soft music.
- Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and free from distractions like phones or TV.
If falling asleep feels impossible, try not to stress. Resting quietly with your eyes closed still allows your body to recover.
Seek Support and Community Resources
Perimenopause can sometimes feel isolating. Navigating the changes on your own might leave you drained or overwhelmed. But the truth is, you don’t have to go through it alone. Support systems—whether in person or online—can provide encouragement, insights, and practical advice from individuals who truly understand.
Finding Support Groups
Support groups offer a safe haven to share experiences and connect with others who “get it.” They can be a lifeline, especially when you’re juggling the combined challenges of perimenopause and neurodivergence. Consider looking into organizations that focus specifically on these needs.
Where to start:
- ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association): ADDA supports adults with ADHD and includes wellness programs and group meetings tailored to women.
- Local Meetup Groups: Some cities host neurodivergent women’s groups. A quick online search or library inquiry might point you in the right direction.
- Facebook Groups:
- Reddit Communities: Subreddits like r/ADHDwomen or r/AutisticWomen serve as active hubs where users exchange advice, humor, and solidarity.
- Mighty Networks or Discord Servers: These platforms host niche groups for neurodivergent folks tackling life’s specific challenges.
Why join an online group?
- Accessible 24/7 from the comfort of home.
- Diverse members from various locations and experiences.
- Anonymity lets you share freely without fear of judgment.
Professional Help: Therapists and Coaches
Sometimes, support from trained professionals becomes essential. Therapists or coaches with expertise in neurodivergence and hormonal health can guide you through these transitions with empathy and tools tailored to your needs.
When should you seek help?
- If mood swings feel unmanageable or disrupt daily life.
- When you’re struggling to keep routines or focus at work.
- If sensory sensitivities become physically or emotionally unbearable.
I had all of the above when I sought out help.
Search for practitioners with experience supporting neurodivergent clients. Ask upfront if they’re familiar with both perimenopause and neurodivergence—it matters. Options include:
- Therapists: Look for licensed mental health professionals specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), somatic therapies, or mindfulness-based approaches for neurodivergent adults. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) or Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) are also good options.
- Life coaches: Coaches can help you rebuild routines, manage stress, and regain focus if executive functioning feels off.
Professional guidance isn’t about “fixing” you, but it helps you add tools to assist with coping strategies and understanding. Your health and happiness matter. Make space for yourself—because you are worth it.
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