The cycle of the seasons fascinates me, seeing how the world shifts—trees shed their leaves and later bloom anew after the cold harsh winter. I love seeing the blooms on the trees in the spring. I am a summer lover by nature but when signs of perimenopause started creeping in I have started favoring the cooler seasons a bit more. I still love summer just in a different way. At least for now anyway. Check back in a few months when winter's blast is full on.
We are several weeks into fall now and the cool crisp mornings that warm up in the afternoon before cooling off for night again. It is like the constant change within myself as my emotions are up and then down sometimes several times through the day. Each day might bring sunshine or storms, and both can be equally unpredictable just like my moods. I am writing this now as it is raining and storming outside. People like me experiencing these changes often find themselves navigating unexpected emotions, often feelings never experienced before. Yet, understanding these shifts can bring clarity and calm. By recognizing the parallels to nature's rhythms, one might find it easier to remain balanced amidst the storm.
Understanding Perimenopause:The Emotional Storm
Experiencing perimenopause is an unpredictable storm of hormones and emotions. This transition, lasting several years, often ushers in emotional highs and lows. While not all experience it the same way, for many, it’s a profound journey of change, as intense as the fiercest hurricane, where hormonal winds can turn perspectives upside down. Perimenopause uncovered things I had been struggling with my entire life but could mask up until now (for the most part anyway). This lead to me seeking assistance for my mental health. I sought out a neuropsychologist who diagnosed me with 6 different things like ADHD and Bipolar.
I could tell right away I didn't quite fit the bipolar model as I was up and down but not for the periods that many people with Bipolar experience. So I then met with a psychiatrist this week who said it is actually cyclothmia or Bipolar 3 which makes much more sense. And it's rare so ok why not at this point right. So my emotional ups and down's turned out that it was much more than just perimenopause. I said before I was diagnosed that Peri and Neurodiversity do not play well together. I had a nurse say you are right they absolutely do not.
Since my diagnoses (actually before I was diagnosed) I have been able to pick up on people struggling regardless of gender and can usually get a good chat or giggle out of them. Understanding the root causes of emotional shifts helps in navigating this chaotic period of life
The Roller Coaster of Hormonal Changes
Hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause resemble the rapid shifts in weather—sunny one moment, stormy the next. Oh and lets not forget foggy. My brain doesn't remember anything some days and it is mega frustrating when something you have know for years escapes you. And embarrassing when in the middle of a conversation and words elude you. Estrogen levels drop irregularly, much like sudden showers disrupting a sunny day. Or if you are like me and enjoy a good storm it may bring you some joy even. These hormonal imbalances lead to mood swings like the rising and falling of tides. When estrogen dips, it can trigger irritability and sadness, reminiscent of grey clouds casting shadows on a sunny disposition. The stormy seas of hormonal changes challenge one’s emotional resilience and can be brutal and absolutely intolerable for those of us with neurodiversity or complex neurodiversity like me.
Social and Emotional Influences
Emotional experiences during perimenopause don't occur in isolation; social factors often intensify them. Imagine a social gathering where an unexpected downpour of anxiety hits, brought on by the complexities of relationships and responsibilities. These social elements can amplify feelings of stress and can lead to significant emotional waves. I find it harder to leave the house these days due to what was once tolerable life things have become intolerable daily triggers. I feel like I have to mask harder around people I have known for years so they don't pick up on how poorly I am doing.
Close relationships may sometimes provide understanding and compassion if you are lucky. I hear about how many neurodivergent people don't have the support systems they need to succeed in life. And that is a shame. I too have pretty much figured things out on my own and dealt with it behind closed doors out of the public's judgmental eye. Social support plays a crucial role in moderating these experiences. My hope is for neurodivergent individuals or any person that is struggling, to find their people and make their own families of people that truly care about them and most importantly just get it. I hope to be that for people some day.
Neurodiversity and Emotional Fluctuations
In the world of neurodiversity, emotions often shift as swiftly as seasonal changes. If you live in the Midwest sometimes all four season can happen in a day. That is a wild ride. For individuals with neurodiverse traits, emotional responses can be as unpredictable as a summer storm, unless you are in Florida and it rains everyday at like 3pm haha. These emotional shifts make everyday experiences both unique and challenging. I could do with a little less challenging these days. Just as the weather requires adaptation, so too does managing these emotional shifts.
Moods and Sensory Sensitivities
Sensory sensitivities in neurodiverse individuals are being tuned in to the smallest changes in the atmosphere. Imagine hearing a pin drop in a silent room or hearing electricity no one can hear; for some, this is a daily auditory experience. These sensitivities can lead to significant emotional fluctuations. For instance, an intense smell, bright light, or loud noise can trigger emotions ranging from irritation to anxiety, or in my case even rage at times. Such sensory overload often becomes overwhelming when the environment is constantly changing, much like adjusting to a sudden drop in temperature.
Sometimes we all or at least me anyway are on the roller coaster and don't enjoy it. I don't actually enjoy real roller coasters so makes sense. I often feel like I am the girl in this photo who is on the roller coaster getting ready to climb and drop but envious of the world passing her by that seems to have it all together. I know most people don't but when you are struggling it sure seems that way.
Being aware of these triggers can help manage the emotional rollercoaster. It really does help when you do some work on yourself and can feel it coming on or can say OPE I am doing it again. I haven't figured out the rage part yet it is 0-60 with no pause. I am trying new meds soon so I am hoping that helps with it. Also creating a supportive and understanding environment is crucial, similar to finding shelter from a storm.
As said earlier this is easier said than done and is something I deeply want to help with and form a community of all of us that get each other. This helps individuals feel safe and in control, reducing the intensity of emotional responses. I am fortunate enough to have a great boyfriend that really helps out when things get rough, even point things out I may not notice. But in a nice way, not condescending or judgmental like I have experienced with people in the past.
Routine Disruption and Emotional Health
Routine lends stability, much like the sun rising on a predictable morning. However, for us neurodiverse individuals, any disruption in routine can be as unsettling as an unexpected hailstorm or shoot some days are tornadoes let's be real here. These disruptions can hinder emotional stability, leading to increased stress and anxiety. The significance of a structured routine cannot be understated—it provides a sense of order amidst chaos. But if you are ADHD like me you need structure but hate the though of structure.
Just like preparing for an approaching season, one can anticipate routine changes by implementing strategies to mitigate their impact. I have been plotting my episodes and can track them a bit better surrounding my female cycle as it is worse then. And damn difficult to deal with even when I know around about when it might occur. Then I get hit with it at other times so it is still very much unpredictable like the weather. Incorporating consistent daily practices, such as mindfulness, scheduled breaks, or throwing on a calming playlist ( I am listing to one now while writing) which provide a buffer against disturbance.
This preparation compares to wearing layers when expecting unpredictable weather; it ensures one remains comfortable regardless of the change. I would also say traveling with my comfort items also helps to stay calm and level. And there is less chance of me being triggered when outside my home or when outside noises penetrate my peaceful home. Looking at you bassholes (people with loud music that shake the house as they drive by) or people with untrained dogs that sit and bark outside for hours.
Seasonal Affective Disorder and Its Parallels
Every shift in season brings with it a distinct set of challenges and transformations, this often shifts emotions experienced during perimenopause and within neurodiverse communities. Understanding the natural interplay between these changes and moods not only helps in managing them but also normalizes the experiences shared by many.
The Seasons of the Mind
The concept of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) reminds us that our minds, much like the earth, have their own seasons. For those in perimenopause, it’s as if they are constantly transitioning from one season to another, moving through spring-like outbursts of energy, to summer inferno (thanks hot flashes)to the dormancy of winter (dormant sex drive).
This comparison is more than metaphorical. Just as trees prepare for the fall by shedding leaves, individuals experiencing these emotional transitions often find themselves hunkering down, seeking warmth and stability within, as a way to cope with the ever-changing emotional climate. All of this. I don't leave the comforts of my home much these days as it is more difficult to remain in control of myself without being able to retreat to a safe zone.
Coping Mechanisms for Change
Navigating these emotional shifts requires understanding and preparation—like wearing layers during unpredictable weather. Here are some strategies to manage these fluctuations:
- Light Therapy: Especially beneficial for those with SAD, exposure to bright light can improve mood, much like the sun cutting through a dreary winter's day.
- Consistent Routines: Establishing daily routines offers a sense of predictability and security, which can be grounding in the face of sudden emotional upheavals. This is especially crucial for neurodivergent individuals who thrive on routine. Not so much for those of us that just are out here winging life. [source].
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help ground emotions, allowing individuals to acknowledge their feelings without getting swept away by them. Think of it as the calm center of a storm.
- Social Support and Communication: Sharing experiences with peers going through similar transitions can provide much-needed understanding and empathy, much like finding shelter with others during a downpour.
Taking care of oneself is super important as the seasons and also the time changes. I just read this article on seasonal self care and there are 50 awesome ideas in there.
Accepting Change
As we journey through the seasons, accepting change becomes not just a necessity but a vital part of our existence. This idea holds special significance for those navigating the emotional whirlwinds of perimenopause and neurodiversity. Just as we marvel at the beauty of new blossoms in spring or the serene stillness of winter, so too can we find beauty and strength in our own emotional transitions. These transformations, far from being something to fear, can be embraced with grace and understanding.
Finding Balance in Transition
Welcoming change might seem daunting, yet finding balance in these shifts can be empowering. Consider the cyclical nature of seasons—a reminder that change is a natural, recurring part of life. Similarly, navigating perimenopause and neurodiverse emotional changes requires a rhythm. Like tuning in to a new season, aligning with these changes offers opportunities for growth and understanding.
- Adaptation: By accepting the fluctuations, one can better manage their emotional experiences. Embracing this change means not fighting the waves but learning to surf them.
- Understanding: Recognizing the root causes of emotional fluctuations—whether hormonal or sensory—can provide clarity, much like a weather forecast warns of a coming storm.
Embracing New Strengths
The intersection of perimenopause and neurodiversity provides a unique lens to view personal strength. Just as nature evolves from one season to the next, these challenges yield new strengths. By embracing these changes, individuals can uncover hidden potential and resilience that might have previously gone unnoticed.
- Self-Compassion: Caring for oneself as one would nurture a delicate flower blooming against the odds. Embracing self-compassion can transform these challenging times into pathways to personal growth.
- Community Support: Just as trees stand stronger together in a forest, so too do individuals thrive when supported by a community. Sharing experiences and learning from others creates a network of understanding and empathy.
Ultimately, embracing change during perimenopause and in neurodiverse experiences is finding equilibrium within the chaos, viewing each emotional shift as another chapter in one's ever-evolving story. This is not just survival—it's a celebration of resilience, adaptability, and the perpetual cycle of growth that life promises.
All we can do is ride the emotional waves as best as we can and expect that some days we will fall off and have to start again. It's not a bad life just a blip in the week and an unordinary day. Practicing self care and saying no to things that no longer serve us or cross boundaries will help to make the waves smaller.
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