So what is it like navigating neurodiversity?
Just think what if everyone saw the human mind like fingerprints, each one unique yet equally important? This would lead to more acceptance of neurodiversity and reshaping how we view human minds. Navigating neurodiversity in the world as a individual can be a unique and often challenging journey. Whether you’re newly discovering your neurodivergence like me or have known for years, building a supportive network is important. Having allies who understand, accept, and celebrate your neurodiversity can make all the difference.
Yet, for many neurodiverse individuals, finding allies and building a strong support system can feel like an complex and difficult uphill battle. Without adequate support, navigating everyday challenges becomes even harder. But it doesn't have to be this way. Building a network of understanding and supportive peers can make all the difference. My hope is that you'll discover practical ways to connect with allies, ensuring you or someone you love can thrive in a safe inclusive environment.
The Importance of Allies
Navigating the complexities of neurodiversity can sometimes feel like navigating a maze, where you can’t always see the way forward or anticipate the twists and turns. Allies play a important role in this journey. They can offer guidance, support, and understanding, helping to clarify paths that might otherwise seem unclear.
What makes someone an Ally?
An ally, is like having a guide in that maze. Someone who is there for you when others have failed you. Much like the allies that surround LGBTQ groups. They are individuals who not only recognize and understand the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals but also take active steps to support and uplift them. Being an ally involves more than just empathy; it's also about action and advocacy. Allies educate themselves about neurodiversity, respect how individuals choose to identify, and amplify their voices. This might involve speaking up for a peer at work, providing assistance in educational settings, or even just offering a listening ear.
Benefits of Having Allies
So, why are allies so crucial? Imagine having someone firmly by your side as you tackle whatever life throws your way. The emotional and practical benefits of having allies can't be overstated. They are the supportive frameworks that help neurodiverse individuals build resilience and achieve their full potential.
Emotional Support
- Validation: Allies validate feelings and experiences, helping individuals feel seen and understood.
- Confidence Boost: Having support enhances confidence, reducing the feelings of isolation or doubt. This would allow someone that has been masking and hiding for some time to be able to get out and finally be their true selves.
- Stress Relief: Simply knowing someone has your back can alleviate the weight of stress and anxiety.
Practical Support
- Resource Sharing: Allies often share valuable resources, whether it’s information, contacts, or opportunities.
- Advocacy: They can advocate for necessary accommodations in places like schools and workplaces.
- Networking: By introducing you to other supportive networks or communities, allies broaden your support system. This could lead to things like career opportunities, connection with others in the community, and making new friends.
Being an ally isn’t just about standing alongside someone and being a companion; it’s about developing a genuine partnership and fostering a sense of community. This connection can help neurodivergent individuals to genuinely thrive in this crazy world.
1. Resources for Finding Allies
Understanding and embracing your own neurodiversity is empowering, and finding like-minded allies can make this journey smoother. So how do you find people that can be allies?
First you need to understand your own neurodivergence and what you need from others. Second is accepting your neurodivergent traits. Once you have accepted yourself and your needs (even if you are still working on it, shoot I still am) then you can find and connect with like-minded individuals who will also accept you for who you are. All of this is a process and will not happen overnight, maybe not even this year. And you will maybe always be working on acceptance and that is ok, I bet a lot of others feel the same way. Once you have yourself started on that process then you can pursue connections:
Online Platforms for Neurodiversity
In today's digital age, the internet is home to numerous platforms that cater to neurodivergent individuals. Whether you're seeking advice, support, or friendship, online platforms offer many communities to explore.
- MindMate (based in UK): This site offers access to various Facebook groups and online communities specifically designed to support neurodivergent young people.
- Neurospectroom: A free online social platform, it's a resource hub built by and for the neurodivergent community.
- Neurodiversity Network: Offers resources for job seekers and students, as well as general community support for neurodivergent individuals.
- Autistic NYC: Lists popular message boards for English-speaking autistic individuals worldwide.
2. Community Resources and Support Groups
Outside your immediate circle, local organizations and online communities offer a wealth of support options. They can help clear up some occasionally foggy paths of building a support system.
Participate in Workshops and Webinars: Engage in educational events that attract both neurodivergent individuals and allies.
Join Online Groups: The pages above are a start but there is so much out there for neurodiverse people. Explore social media platforms, forums, and online communities dedicated to neurodiversity. I will update this page as I find good resources.
Attend Community Meetups : Look for local support groups or events that focus on neurodiversity, where you can connect with others in person. Churches are a good place to look and some counseling services offer small support groups. The ND alliance is launching a club now at the time of this writing to encourage clubs at high school and college campuses across the country. It looks like they may also offer an online component as well.
3. Identifying Potential Allies
Finding support in your journey with neurodiversity can feel like looking for a needle in a haystack, but it's easier than it seems. There are potential allies all around you, ready to give the backing and support you need. These allies can be close friends, community members, or even professionals.
Look Within Your Circle
Start with those around you. Friends, family, and coworkers might already be supportive; they just need a little nudge to become true allies. Trustworthy and empathetic people can be wonderful allies.
- Friends: Have open conversations with friends about your experiences. Share your needs and see who shows understanding and eagerness to help. Encourage open communication and clearly communicate your needs and boundaries.
- Family: Families often stand as pillars of support but unfortunately sometimes not. It's important to communicate openly with them about what you find challenging and how they can assist. If they are not supportive and reject what you are asking, sometimes you have to go out and find connections that become chosen family.
- Coworkers: At work, identify colleagues who respect your uniqueness. Transparency about your needs can foster a supportive environment. Ask someone or multiple people that you feel may be supportive to have lunch with you or any other activity you all would enjoy. Reaching out to a mentor, HR or management for assistance in identifying potential allies.
4. Educational Institutions and Professionals
Educational institutions also hold potential allies in the form of teachers, counselors, and therapists. These professionals are usually well-equipped with the knowledge and resources to provide meaningful support.
- Teachers: They can adapt teaching methods and offer additional support where necessary. A teacher who understands neurodiversity can make learning more accessible.
- Counselors: School or college counselors can provide a listening ear and tailored advice. They can be instrumental in navigating educational challenges.
- Therapists: Mental health professionals offer personalized strategies to help manage day-to-day challenges.
5. Online Resources
- Follow Neurodivergent Influencers: Connect with influencers and bloggers who share their experiences with neurodiversity. This was pivotal in my discovery of my neurodivergence. I watched as influencers described an average day for them and was shocked at how similar my life was to theirs. I am currently getting assessed.
- Utilize Support Apps: Explore apps and websites designed to help neurodivergent individuals find support and connect with others. I am starting to explore some things like this. For right now google calendar and tasks seems to be working for me but there are a ton of helpful things out there. Even mindfulness or calming apps.
- Access Educational Materials: Educate yourself and others by accessing books, articles, and videos on neurodiversity. Many local libraries have online catalogs now and you can download information to your kindle and even reserve items at the library or have them delivered from a different library.
6.Books and Literature on Neurodiversity
Books can serve as silent allies, offering insights and fostering deep connections with the neurodiversity movement. When I first started putting the pieces together I hyper focused like crazy reading all the thing to find out more about myself, ok honestly still doing that and sharing it for others. It was nice to read information and feel like someone gets me even if it was an author or influencer I have never met. Whether you're new to the topic or looking to deepen your understanding, here are some key reads to consider:
- Neurodiversity Network's Book List: This features a variety of books on autism and neurodiversity. There are some on this list I have added to my want to read list.
- Celebrating Neurodiversity: Books for Adults: Delivers an array of literature that delves into the lives and stories of neurodiverse individuals.
- Think Differently: A Neurodiversity Reading List: Offers titles like “Wintering” by Katherine May and “We're Not Broken” by Eric Garcia.
- Goodreads' Popular Neurodiversity Books: Includes highly recommended titles such as “NeuroTribes” by Steve Silberman.
There are a lot on this list I have added to my want to read list. If you have read any or have any recommendations let me know.
7. Building Your Support System
Creating a solid support system can be challenging. With the knowledge you have gained about yourself it will make it a bit easier to connect with others like yourself. Your support network provides you with strength and comfort that can help you thrive. Especially since you are navigating the diverse and dynamic landscape of neurodiversity, it's best to have a tour guide usually in unknown territories. Whether it's friends, family, books, online resources or community allies, also be sure to have open communication and regular check-ins.
Regular Check-Ins
Check-ins help maintain the connections you've nurtured. Stay in touch with your allies through regular communication.
- Schedule Regular Calls or Meetings: Set up a routine to talk with your support network. This keeps everyone informed and connected.
- Use Technology to Stay Connected: Whether through social media, messaging apps, or video calls, use technology to maintain your ties. We live in the age of Zoom and face time and they are free. Zoom is only free for 40 minutes but you can resign in and continue. It's never been easier to stay connected if the connection can't occur in person.
- Be Consistent: Consistency builds trust. When everyone knows they can rely on regular communication, it strengthens the entire support system.
Open Communication
It's important to express your needs and boundaries clearly to those around you. By communicating openly, you allow others to understand your experiences better and align their support with what truly helps you.
- Be Direct: Use straightforward language to convey your needs. Avoiding being vague helps in setting clear expectations.
- Set Boundaries: Clearly define what you are comfortable with. This creates a respectful environment for everyone involved.
- Listen Actively: Just as you express your needs, be open to feedback from your support circle. It’s a two-way street where everyone benefits from understanding.
Open communication can be especially difficult with those that struggle with people pleasing, rejection sensitivity or imposter syndrome but with time and practice it gets a bit easier.
8.Engaging in Supportive Environments
Sometimes, finding a safe space can feel like discovering a sanctuary. A place where understanding and acceptance are abundant. Create or join communities that resonate with your own experiences and values.
- Join Groups or Clubs: Participate in groups that share your interests and experiences. This creates connections with like-minded individuals who can offer support.
- Create Safe Spaces: If none exist, take the initiative to create one. It can be a welcoming environment for others who seek understanding and support.
9.Fostering Long-Lasting Relationships
Building strong relationships isn't just about finding people who understand you; it's also about making connections that last a lifetime. I am lucky enough to have a few of these. I try to stay in touch as much as possible. Relationships are enriched by mutual support, understanding, and the joy of celebrating each other's differences. I don't get together with people as often as I use to because well masking gets harder the older you get. But with the right people I don't have to mask and can be myself. Well mostly, then I do the neurodivergent thing where I sit and overthink everything I said during the encounter with intrusive thoughts like did I talk to much? Was I annoying? That is talk for a different post.
10.Mutual Support and Understanding
Mutual support forms the backbone of any strong relationship. Imagine relationships as a see-saw; they only work when both sides are balanced. When we talk about balance, it means offering emotional, physical, and mental support whenever needed. It's about being a shoulder to lean on during challenging times and a cheerleader during triumphs. I will admit I have failed at this and lost some friends when I was going through some things and wasn't as supportive as the other person was to me. But in all fairness it does go both ways, I have many times been empathetic and supportive to people in my life that would never (still haven't) been supportive to me. It's life it happens but finding your people or for me person really helps.
Here are some ways to practice mutual support:
- Listen Actively: Sometimes, all someone needs is to be heard. Offering a listening ear can be more supportive than offering advice. Sometimes it is so hard to know what to say and I really try to stay away from toxic positivity but sometimes it spews out then gah I get out of the situation and overthink it and feel bad.
- Be Present: Show up for your friends not just physically, but emotionally. Be there during celebrations and when solace is needed.
- Provide Encouragement: A little nudge of encouragement can empower someone to achieve more than they thought possible. Even a hey lunch is on me or want to go for a walk can really help someone who is struggling to get out of the house but needs to. If that person is you struggling (I have totally been there), then ask a friend out to do something. It goes both ways in a relationship (at least in a good one that is).
11. Celebrating Diversity Together
Each person brings their own unique strengths and experiences to the table. Recognizing and celebrating our differences not only strengthens bonds but also broadens our perspectives. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and went oh me too!! I have bonded over that stuff and it can be something simple like someone saying oof I forget everything and yep I do also. It can also be a good ice breaker in some situations.
Ways to celebrate diversity:
- Share Cultural Traditions: Embrace cultural diversity by sharing and participating in each other's traditions.
- Learn Together: Whether it's learning a new language or trying out a new recipe, learning together fosters bonding.
- Appreciate Each Other's Strengths: Instead of focusing on differences, appreciate what each person brings to the team.
12. Practice Self-Care and Resilience
It is ALWAYS in your best interest to look out for yourself when pursuing difficult and overwhelming activities. Make sure you are taking care of you in the process.
- Prioritize Your Well-Being: Regularly engage in activities that support your mental and emotional health. Doing things that you enjoy will boost that dopamine which is great for feeling your best.
- Develop Coping Strategies: Build a toolkit of coping strategies to manage stress and navigate difficult situations.
- Celebrate Your Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.
13. Making Neurodiversity Visible to Others
Unlike with other disabilities, neurodiversity is often not readily visible by others. You can make yourself visible to others if you are comfortable. Ways others have done this is to wear a sunflower lanyard that can be purchased at places like Amazon. This sunflower signifies you have a hidden disability that you are voluntarily sharing with the world. It also signals that you may need assistance or understanding. This would also help potential allies to find you easier.
Key takeaways: listen, learn, and build genuine connections. Surround yourself with allies who understand and celebrate neurodiversity. The bonds you form are not only crucial for support but can also drive positive change.
