Life is A Lot sometimes, right? Like too much at times! If you’re neurodivergent, the word “overwhelmed” probably doesn’t even cover it. It isn’t just a bad day that people sometimes have. You’re up against challenges most people can’t see, wrestling with sensory overload, racing thoughts, and pressures to blend in. Along with the constant never-ending tasks, noise, emotions, and expectations that occur daily that leave us feeling exhausted. When we push too hard (because that is what society wants), burnout is practically inevitable.
The good news? You can break free from that crushing sense of overwhelm without sacrificing your mental health.
Why Do Neurodivergent People Feel Overwhelmed?
If you’re autistic, have ADHD, or experience sensory differences, you probably spend more time than you’d like feeling frazzled, with every task and interaction feeling ten times harder.
Being “overwhelmed” for you might mean getting lost in crowded places, forgetting things, or for me it is having too many things happening at once. It’s not all in your head. Your nervous system is literally wired to process the world differently.
The Role of Sensory Overload
Let’s talk about senses for a second. For some neurodivergent people, a ticking clock is just an object on a wall. For me, the repetitive tick starts to crawl under my skin, each sound stacking on the last until it’s all I can hear. Once I hear a sensory ick like that it is game over. Oddly though I like electronic music but some days even that can be a hard no. Or, a “freshly cleaned” bathroom might send you running from the smell of chemical cleaners. BUT…If you have emetophobia like me though you may also find comfort in a freshly cleaned bathroom. If you know you know.
Sensory overload means you notice things others ignore. Too many sounds, bright lights, scratchy clothes, or strong smells can stack up fast until you feel like a soda can about to burst. Like some sounds literally have me shaking from overwhelm (or rage but that is another post)
If you’re someone who seeks sensory input, it can look different—you crave movement or touch, but if you can’t get it, you might feel restless, irritable, or foggy. And there are days that if someone touches me I feel the same. I know make it make sense right.
Here are a few ways sensory overload shows up:
- Headaches or nausea in busy places
- Sudden outbursts or “meltdowns” when your body can’t take it anymore. Oh the meltdowns I have had.
- Need for dark, quiet, safe spaces to just breathe
Executive Dysfunction and Daily Life
Then there’s executive dysfunction, which sounds like something that happens in a corporate boardroom but is actually about organizing your life. This shows up as constant struggle with planning, time management, and just getting stuff started.
Think about mornings where you know you need to get up, but can’t move your body. Or afternoons spent thinking about a to-do list that gets longer by the minute, and yet, nothing actually gets done (except for excessive doom scrolling). You want to act, but your brain feels “stuck.”
You might ask yourself, “Why do I keep dropping the ball?” The answer rarely has to do with effort or intelligence. It’s about a brain that takes a different route to accomplishing tasks. Sometimes, the route is cluttered with potholes.
Common signs include:
- Missing deadlines (even when you start early)
- Forgetting simple steps, like brushing teeth before work
- Anxiety from tasks piling up faster than you can handle
Masking and Social Exhaustion
If you’ve ever left a party and collapsed in exhaustion, or spent a whole day at work “acting normal” only to fall apart at home, you know the cost of masking.
Masking means you hide or suppress behaviors that make you look “different” in public. You smile, mimic, and script conversations so you’ll fit in. You might rehearse what to say, control how you move, or stifle your natural reactions.
All of this takes energy (like a crap ton of it). Over time, the pressure to mask leads to emotional and even physical pain. You end up feeling lost and forget what it's like to just be you.
Signs of social exhaustion:
- Intense fatigue after social situations
- Feeling fake or disconnected from yourself
- Emotional outbursts once you’re finally alone
Breaking Free from Burnout: Practical Strategies for Managing Overwhelm
You didn’t sign up for chronic overwhelm, but there are ways to reclaim your energy and peace. These strategies aren’t forcing yourself to “fit in.” They’re to make life work better for you, starting where you are.
Setting Boundaries and Saying No
To stop drowning in commitments, you need to spot your limits and actually acknowledge them.
Here’s where to start:
- Notice your warning signs. Pay attention to when you feel tension or resentment, that’s often a sign your boundary is being crossed. For example if you cook dinner and feel wiped out for hours, that’s a clue.
- Use simple scripts to say no. Try, “I’d love to help, but I can’t today.” Or, “That’s too much for me this week.”
- Pre-scheduling rest: Don’t wait until you’re running on empty. Block out time for nothing and guard it like it's the last piece of chocolate in the house (I wasn't able to eat chocolate for over 20 years so the fight is ON).
It’s tough. You might feel guilt or worry about letting people down, especially if you’re used to being the “yes” person. Remember, saying no makes your “yes” mean more.
Rethink What Productivity Means
“Productivity” is often defined in ways that don’t make sense for neurodivergent people, constant motion, endless checklists, hustle culture. But for you, being productive might mean:
- Focusing for 15 minutes and then resting.
- Doing one meaningful task a day, not ten (if it is a high energy hyperfocus day then have at it!)
- Making progress on a goal in your own time, not a timeline that stresses you out.
Your brain might not work in straight lines. That doesn’t mean you’re not productive. It means your path looks different—and that’s okay. Start by defining productivity on your own terms. Ask: What helps me feel accomplished, without leaving me drained? I often have 3-5 things I want to accomplish for the day. If I get even 1-2 done I consider that accomplished. And coming from the horrid hustle culture the rest can wait until I have the mental bandwidth to deal with it.
Somedays I get through all 5 things and go onto the next day but that isn't common and is totally ok. Another hack I use is I ask myself can this be done in less than 5 minutes? If yes then I go ahead and do it. If no then I immediately put it in my calendar and I also use a thing called a second brain or it is also known as a business dashboard. And I will also go ahead and set an alarm on my phone if it is something that has to be done by a certain time frame.
Use Tools That Match Your Brain
Traditional planners or routines might have failed you, not because you failed, but because they weren’t built for your brain. Let’s change that.
Here are tools and strategies that work with your natural rhythms:
- Task batching: Group similar tasks together (like emails or errands) to reduce decision fatigue. I also call it task stacking and this is how I use it in my daily life.
- Timers & alarms: Try the Pomodoro method (25 min work, 5 min break) or time-blocking apps like “Focus Keeper” or “Be Focused.”
- Body doubling: Working alongside someone—even virtually—can help with task initiation. Apps like Flown or Focus mate offer ND-friendly focus sessions.
- Visual planning tools: Use color-coded calendars, sticker charts, or whiteboards for a dopamine-friendly way to track tasks.
Give yourself permission to experiment until something clicks. You’re not “bad at planning”, you just need systems that make sense to you. I have tried and am still trying many things to see what works for me. Some things work right away and others I have to tweak or change things up.
Recognize the Signs of Burnout
If everything feels too hard, even the basics, it’s time to pause. Burnout can sneak up slowly or hit like a truck, but either way, it’s real and valid. Burnout recovery isn’t a luxury; it’s survival. You deserve rest, support, and space to reset.
Neurodivergent burnout often includes:
- Feeling physically and emotionally numb
- Extreme fatigue even after resting
- Loss of interest in things you care about
- Increased sensitivity to sound, light, or touch
- Shutdowns or emotional outbursts over small things
When you notice these signs, the answer isn’t to push harder. It’s to step back. Rest is part of recovery. Take a break from “fixing” yourself and focus on soothing yourself.
Try:
- A sensory-safe space with dim lights and soft textures
- Reducing input (phone off, no talking, earplugs or noise-canceling headphones)
- Allowing yourself to do nothing without guilt
Give yourself the same compassion you’d offer someone you love.
💬 Final Thoughts
Being overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re incapable, it means your current capacity just isn’t matching what life is demanding from you right now.
Reclaiming productivity as a neurodivergent person isn’t masking yourself to fit into someone else’s mold. It’s about building your own path, one that leaves room for rest, compassion, flexibility, and joy.
You don’t have to do everything.
You don’t have to do it perfectly.
You just have to start with one small step
There’s no one ‘right’ way out of overwhelm—only the way that works for you
Amber
Amber has been neurodivergent her whole life, though she only received her diagnosis after turning 40. Following a challenging relationship and a move to a new city, she finally discovered that her brain's “alternative software” explained the uniqueness she had always experienced. Now hyperfocused on all things neurodiversity (along with crafting, designing, Stranger Things, and other special interests), Amber is building a community for people with misunderstood minds. Her mission is to help fellow neurodivergent individuals navigate this chaotic world that wasn't designed with their operating systems in mind. Through humor, authenticity, and a healthy dose of sarcasm, Amber creates connections where people can laugh about shared experiences that only they understand. She celebrates what others might call “weird” as actually being wonderful, creative, and powerful. By embracing these differences together, she believes neurodivergent individuals can form deeper, more meaningful connections based on genuine understanding and mutual appreciation of their extraordinary minds.
